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Building confidence in children starts when they are babies and continues through childhood. Our job as parents is to help them grown strong and confident.

There are so many things we must worry about as we raise our children.

We must teach them to respect themselves and others, we must explain sex and puberty, and we have to cover at least the basics of personal responsibility! (An oft-repeated line at home is “Don’t let your irresponsibility become someone else’s responsibility!’)

Of course, we also need to teach them to walk, talk, read and write, play nicely with others, and share.

Then they get older and we are dealing with chores and school work.

But when do we teach them confidence?

A healthy, strong sense of self-confidence.

Generally, confidence and self-esteem is built first at home. Granted, it’s possible to build up a healthy sense of self as an adult, but it’s going to be harder. Therefore, as a parent, it’s your job to help your child feel good about themselves and grow to be a happy, well-adjusted adult.

You can hire someone to teach Drivers Ed, but you can’t hire out this part of parenting.

Why Self-Confidence is So Important

Before we talk about HOW, let’s take a moment to look at WHY.

Why should you take the effort to focus on your child’s confidence throughout every age and stage?

A self-confident child is happier

Plain and simple, confident boys and girls are happier. They feel good about themselves and their accomplishments, which makes them well-adjusted, delightful, and happy children.

There’s my goal for all of my children – that they are happy.

A strong sense of confidence in themselves and the world allows your child to enjoy life.

Confidence creates a stronger, healthier self-worth

Now let’s take a moment and make it clear that I’m talking about a healthy self-esteem, not one that is bloated and over-inflated. No one likes to be around someone who thinks they are better than everyone else.

But a child who knows that they are AS GOOD AS anyone else, with confidence in their own strengths and abilities, will have a healthy and realistic self-worth. Everyone needs to feel as though their life has value.

It means less social anxiety

We have all seen children who are terrified to enter into social situations because they feel they aren’t good enough, or they feel they can’t compare to others. Perhaps you were that sort of child. Even though I had a lot going for me, social situations were scary for me.

A lot of social anxiety in children comes from that feeling that they aren’t good enough. Building your child’s self-confidence can greatly diminish social anxiety.

Confidence boosts motivation

We all want motivated children. Or, more specifically, we want self-motivated children. That means that they are more likely to try harder and work at learning new things. A confident child is not afraid to try and fail. They take chances, which means that they learn and grow – which in turn increases their confidence.

Start Young With Your Baby

Confidence in boys and girls starts when they’re babies.

The method of parenting is one you can choose on your own, but it has been shown that attachment parenting for babies makes them feel secure, which can then increase their sense of value as they get older. Attachment parenting includes wearing your baby often, paying attention to their cues and breastfeeding immediately, and spending a good portion of your baby’s life right there beside them.

Even if attachment parenting isn’t your personal method of parenting, you can get some good tips from this type of parenting. The more time, love, and attention you give to your baby during his first few months of life, the more valued and special he is going to feel. Continue with this type of parenting from the time your son is born until he starts paying attention to the time and attention you give him, and it will naturally increase his own personal self-confidence.

This early nurturing is important for babies and toddlers to feel love from their parents. So don’t be afraid that you cuddle too much or want to spend all your time with your son; this is a good thing and can actually help him be a better person in the future.

Be a Good Role Model For Healthy Self-Confidence

Monkey see, monkey do!

Have you ever told your child to “Do as I say, not as I do”? It sounds so foolish to SAY it, but unfortunately, too many of us speak volume with our actions.

As your child starts to get older, a lot of their self confidence comes from what they see, not always what they’re told.

They’re always watching us, even when – no, especially when – they don’t think we’re watching!  They’ll take cues from parents, older siblings, and other people in their lives that they look up to.

As the parent, it’s your job to show that you’re confident about yourself and model that it’s okay to stand up for yourself and speak your mind.

Remain a Self-Confident Person

It can be hard to keep saying good things about yourself and showing your child that you are a confident person with a healthy self-esteem.

Unfortunately, too many people will treat you as though you’re being conceited. In some circles, it’s not socially acceptable to be proud of your accomplishments.

Don’t let that stop you from taking credit for what you’ve done, accepting praise and approval. That doesn’t mean you should be talking about yourself 24/7! But in those moments when you truly believe you’ve shined, make sure your children take a lesson from it that it’s perfectly fine to take pride in your accomplishments!

Keep Certain Misgivings to Yourself

Your self-confidence and self-esteem are probably not at the level where you want your child’s to be.

Most of us grew up “beating ourselves up” for things, and heaping guilt on our own heads or accepting it from others. And a lot of us have a very unhealthy fixation on personal appearances – we’re all either too skinny, too fat, too tall, too short, too something. One of my best friends is 5’10” and says that her height made her an easy target, while I felt the same way at 5′. The lessons we learned are usually not ones that we want to pass on to our children.

So what do you do when you look in the mirror and absolutely hate that spare tire or the saggy skin under your neck? What about when you straight up made a HUGE mistake and you want to jump off a bridge?

It’s important to let your children know that you have flaws and that you make mistakes. But remember how they mimic everything they see?

“I’m so FAT! I’m going to go on a diet so that I can look good again!” That isn’t something you want to hear from your beautiful child, and so it’s not something they should ever hear from you. At our house, we talk about how children are growing and need plenty of carbohydrates, fat, and protein, while grownups who still eat like hungry children pack on excess weight. It helps them realize that there is nothing wrong with being a hungry little hippo when you’re a child, but that food intake needs to fit your age and activity level.

By the same token, you don’t want to hear your child say “I can’t believe that I did that! My life is OVER!” Take care to model to them that mistakes happen, stupid decisions happen, and while you may well regret the actions and decisions, life does go on.  You don’t want them to think that failure is a catastrophe.

Find a Good Balance of Praise

There’s a delicate balance that parents need to find. On one hand, you need to compliment and praise your children for things they do well. But on the other hand, you don’t want to be so generous with your praise that failure hits them like a brick wall.

Part of the way to deal with this is to praise their efforts and progress, as well as recognizing their best work.

Focus On Encouragement

Don’t set the bar too low!

This is a very real problem when you’re lavishing your child with praise. If every single attempt is ‘amazing!’ and ‘perfect!’ then there is little reason for your child to push forward and do better.

If it’s already perfect, why not stop there?

Be sure to include a strong dose of encouragement in your praise. “That is a REALLY good effort. I’m so impressed. I can see how amazing it’s going to be when you’ve mastered this!”

Teach the Importance of Trying Again

It was good – but it can be better!

That’s an important lesson that our children all need to learn. Focus on their effort, the work that they’ve done, so that they know you appreciate how hard they’ve worked. This makes children more likely to work at improving what they’ve done.

When to Offer Your Child Praise

And sometimes it’s okay to just praise the stuffing out of your kids!

When they try something new, especially something difficult, and they succeed, go ahead and hoot and holler for them.

But just as importantly – when they try … and try … and try … and try … and finally succeed, break out the balloons and celebrate.

Let Your Child Take Some Risks

It’s okay to let your child try new things. In fact, it’s not just okay, it’s a GOOD thing.

It’s also scary! You don’t know how things will turn out, and maybe it will end in disappointment and tears. But raising a confident child means letting them try new things.

Last week my five year old daughter decided to try some stunts on the ‘spider web’ (that dome-shaped climbing apparatus in most playgrounds). Instead of succeeding at her stunt, she took a face-plant right into sharp rocks and cut up her face and lip badly.

How badly? Badly enough that it got her a week off school, with salt water and antibiotic ointment treatments several times a day and soft foods so that her teeth would firm back up in their sockets.

When we talked to her about it, we praised her attempt and acknowledged that sometimes you do get hurt when trying something new. Someone said to her that she should perhaps not do stunts like that and she said “No, that’s not right. I shouldn’t fall on my face like that.”

Leave Room For Your Child to Diversify

Just because your child excels in one area, doesn’t mean they can’t also try and succeed at other things. Part of allowing your child to be more confident is showing that they can do a lot of different things well. Give them the chance to really try a lot of different things until they finds what makes them feel good about themselves.

Give them encouragement to try new things and see what else they’re good at.

Let Them Solve Problems On Their Own

This is often difficult for parents to do because you want your child to learn the right way to do things. “Here, let me get that!”

However, there are times when it is better for their growth and development to take a step back and let them figure out things on their own.

My children are very strong-willed, and I’m pretty relaxed, so we often have situations where my children are studying a mess or a problem carefully and trying to figure out just exactly how to deal with it.

I let them do it! Often the solutions aren’t what I’d have chosen, but I’ll usually accept any solution that works. Each problem solved gives them more confirmation that they are capable of dealing with difficulties without immediately calling for help.

Encourage Them to Do Their Own Thing

Everyone needs hobbies and passions – and it doesn’t always have to be something you’re good at it.

Encourage your children to try new things and explore what interests them. When your child finds something they truly love, they’ll feel good about themselves every time they participate in that activity.

And it doesn’t have to be something you like or enjoy!

For example, my youngest son adores Minecraft. I bet my tongue when it’s being discussed, because I dislike the game immensely. But as much as I dislike it, I know that there are valuable lessons to be learned in the game. Players start from scratch and must create or hunt down everything. They learn to choose and finish goals, build on their creativity, and learn some basics of building.

Letting our children try new things, be creative, and explore their many talents and abilities will help them grow into happy, motivated, strong, and self confident men and women.

As the weather warms up, many of us begin to feel motivated to do a good spring cleaning in and around our homes. Spring cleaning is an essential part of clearing out the stuffy remnants of winter and making room for the new.

There are a few misconceptions about spring cleaning, and it is important to clear those up before embarking on your mission.

Here is spring cleaning in a nutshell… what it is and is not.

What Is Spring Cleaning?

Spring Cleaning Is a Fresh Start to the Year

By the time we are a few months into the year, most of us can use another fresh start.

When winter begins to fade into spring, we are ready for a chance to get rid of the old and get on with the new. Spring cleaning gives us that chance to turn over a new leaf, and clean our way into a fresh mindset.

Spring Cleaning Is a Good Thorough Cleaning

Spring cleaning is not just your average weekly chores.

Spring cleaning gives us a chance to turn everything over and clear out the cobwebs, literally and figuratively.

Spring cleaning is a thorough change from the way we are currently living. It is a chance to get things moving back into the right direction if our standards have slipped at any point.

Spring Cleaning Is about Organization

Spring cleaning is not just about wiping away the grease and taking a swish at the dust. It is a great time to make an extensive list to follow, both now and on smaller levels for the future.

What is Spring Cleaning NOT?

Spring Cleaning Is Not All-or-Nothing

As much as you may want to do as thorough a cleaning as possible, don’t go overboard.

Do your best to make your home sparkly and bright, but give yourself a break when necessary.

We should strive for clean, functional homes… but they must also be liveable.

I like stripping and airing mattresses in the spring and then cleaning them with baking soda and essential oils and a good vacuuming. It’s a good time to wash and line dry blankets, too.

But you won’t find me beating rugs outside or hauling all of the furniture outside. There are limits!

Spring Cleaning Is Not Just about Home Cleaning

Spring cleaning is generally focused on turning your home into a better, more organized version of its previous state.

However, there are plenty other things in your life that you can focus on when you are finished.

Spend some of your time spring cleaning your car, and you will once again be able to enjoy your drive to and from work every day.

Extend spring cleaning to your purse, and you will be able to find what you need more quickly when you are away from home.

Spring cleaning has many benefits no matter where you live or what’s going on in your life. It is a great time to make your home feel like a brand new place, but your spring cleaning efforts can extend to whatever part of your life you choose.

Go through a mental checklist of every area in your life that needs some overhauling, and find ways to make those changes.

Unlike New Year’s Resolutions (of which I’ve never been a fan), Spring Cleaning is action-oriented, with the sun shining and the birds singing.

Throw open the curtains, let the light shine into all the dark and dirty spots and see what even a few steps in the right direction can make happen!

Every woman needs her own set of home improvement tools to do repairs and maintenance around the house – stop waiting for someone else to do it!

The shelf hanging kit had me at a loss. Not because I didn’t understand the instructions – my father’s a carpenter and we had grown up playing in his workshop – but because I didn’t have any tools of my own!

How had I let that happen?

It was my first apartment, and of all the things I had remembered to buy, I hadn’t bought a set of home improvement and maintenance tools. My father and his workshop were two hours away and we had a set of shelves that needed to go up, preferably before I left for work.

My boyfriend at the time wasn’t a lot of help, either.

“What’s a level? It says you need a level and a … Philips screwdriver? There isn’t one in the kit.”

Do you think of home repairs as something only husbands and boyfriends take care of?

I suppose that would be great if we always had a handy man around who owned his own tools, knew how to use them and was at our beck and call … and if we really wanted to be that dependent on, well, anyone!

Whether you’re moving into your first apartment, buying a house, planning to hold down the fort solo while hubby’s on a business trip or just straight out need to what he isn’t inclined to do … the time has come to have your own set of home improvement tools.

Hey, if you already have your own full sets of tools that you use all the time, or you are the handyperson around the house while your partner can’t put in a nail, this isn’t for you! 😀 You probably knows someone who needs this list, though. Some of the best DIYers I know are women. But the rest of you – you know who you are!

Step ladder

A fold-up step ladder looks like a clunky, cumbersome thing that should be avoided if at all possible.

But really, they’re lightweight and easy to move from room to room and up and down stairs – even if you’re a short woman like me. I don’t like waiting for ‘the tall person’ to get home so that I can deal with high up messes. I have a small step stool that my dad made for me (thanks, Dad!) for reaching things in the 6-7′ range, but if it’s higher than that, I need a step ladder.

One day last summer, a little friend of ours dropped his cup of blueberry milkshake. Equal and opposite reaction – the cup hit the floor and the contents of the cup hit our 8 1/2′ ceiling! He got pretty covered in blue as it went up.

The ceiling looked worse. I stared at it for a moment, wondering if it would stain by the time EJ got home, and then my dad (who was visiting) reminded me that we had recently bought a multi-fold ladder – and this was the perfect time to try it out!

What do you think of my oh-so-retro kitchen floor covering, by the way?

Most people don’t have to reach quite that high, but make sure you can reach your highest ceilings. Light bulbs need changing, blueberry milkshake needs wiping, clocks need new batteries. And then there are the outside chores like hanging lights or flower baskets.

You could balance carefully on that lawn chair and try, try, try to reach without falling on your butt, but wouldn’t a ladder work better?

Besides, you know you wouldn’t land on your butt! You’d go sideways, knock all the flowerpots over on your way down, land on your right shoulder, twisted in a painful pile, and then have to make an emergency call to the physiotherapist.

Just get a multi-fold ladder. It’s far cheaper than the physiotherapist.

Hammer and nails

Before you go shopping for hammers, let me make it really clear – you don’t need a pretty pink one. In fact, I usually find that the pretty pink tools are so lightweight that they’re better suited for adolescents.

My ten year old just looked over my shoulder and wants you all to know that even he uses a proper hammer. So there’s that.

I like hammers. I love the way they feel in my hand, and I like that almost any problem can be solved with a hammer and a nail. Okay, maybe not solved well, but …. solved.

You really need your own hammer or even a set of hammers.

Get one with a wooden or rubber end for a good grip. And definitely pick up a collection of nails. You might be shocked at the variety of nails out there. Just like you wouldn’t want to have ONE size needle for sewing everything, you also want to have different nails for different jobs.

I’m lucky that my father was a carpenter so we grew up learning how to hammer nails safely and accurately, but if that isn’t your background, a short time on Youtube will give you all the instruction you need.  Watch your thumb – EJ broke his thumb with a hammer a few years ago, and it was definitely not a pleasant experience.

Compared to everything else you tackle in your days, learning to hammer a nail is going to be easy.

Screwdriver collection

One screwdriver is not enough. And if you’re still using a butter knife anytime you have a screw to turn …. please stop wrecking your butter knives.

You’ll need a set of maybe four or five basic screwdrivers. At the very least, you need one to replace the batteries on all those toys that talk, walk, beep and buzz …

or …. well, maybe not …

Okay, you need screwdrivers to change the batteries in the wall clock, tighten the legs on your coffee table and fix the door hinges when the children swing off them and loosen the screws.

Honest to goodness, any mom needs her own set of screwdrivers.

Robertson screws have a square slot in them.

Phillips screws have a cross-shaped slot in them.

The ones with a simple slot across them (the ones that are so tempting to just use a butter knife to turn) are, shockingly enough, called Slotted.

You’ll use them. Trust me.

Wire cutters

I am not talking about those giant wire cutters that you see criminals use in movies.

These little wire snippers are kind of cute, and you’ll use the same one for crafting, gardening and home decorating. They take care of those miserable plastic ties that are on all toys, too, without wrecking your fingernails or your kitchen scissors.

Very multi purpose. You’ll probably want a few of them because you’ll use them sooooo very often.

Picture hanging hooks of different sizes

When those Command strips first came out, I used them to hang a precious photograph of my great-grandfather.

The package promised that it would hold.

They lied.

That’s when I learned that nothing replaces good old-fashioned picture hanging hooks.

You have your own hammer now. Go hang pictures properly so Gramps doesn’t come crashing to the floor.

Level

Again, this is something you’ll use for hanging pictures — and for putting up shelves and racks, ensuring that the oven and stove are balanced, and all sorts of jobs.

Your children will also have a blast playing with the level and its fascinating little windows and tubes of water.

If you find it relaxing and fun, too …. well, I’m certainly not judging.

Tape measure

It’s amazing how often I reach for a tape measure.

From measuring your children’s feet to figuring out if that fridge is going to fit in that spot (it didn’t!) to planning out garden beds and maximizing shelf space in your deep pantry, measuring tapes are really important.

Wrenches

Wrenches tighten and loosen things that human hands can’t quite handle.

You probably won’t use your wrench collection much, or at least let’s hope not. But it will be comforting to know that if a fitting ever comes loose or a pipe under the sink begins leaking, you’ll have your wrench handy to make easy work of the task.

Industrial sized stapler

What if the back of your (cheap) shelves comes off?

There are a lot of quick little repairs that are best done with a staple gun. Since we’re not replacing the old windows in our house until next spring, we used our staple gun to fasten a double layer of 6mm plastic on all the windows. No, it’s not pretty, but it’s keeping the heat in the house until we can get together $18,000 to replace all of these custom-built-in-1887 windows!

Yea … no, not exaggerating about the price, and I’m definitely looking for a company that wants to sponsor the job!

If Nothing Else

If you don’t do ANYTHING else, this is the tool set that I started with. My friend Danielle tells you how to repair a broken toilet handle with a basic tool kit like this.

When EJ and I first met, all of his tools were in storage, so we used this set for quite a while. Even after we got his tools, this simple all-in-one kit met most of our needs. It’s easy to carry around and has pretty much every tool you’ll need on a regular basis. Add a staple gun and a multi-fold ladder, and you’re good for a while.

It doesn’t matter if you have a large home or a small home, it has to be cleaned! I’m often asked for a Deep Housecleaning Checklist, so here it is! You’ll want to keep this bookmarked or print it off so that it’s handy.

We live in a big house, at least for our area. With four bedrooms and two baths, it gives us room for all of the children to spread out and lets the autistic family members have their space. But it takes some work to keep it clean.

A Deep Cleaning Checklist for Every Room

Kitchen

The kitchen is one of the busiest rooms in the house.

It can be hard to keep it clean with so many people using it so many times during the day and into the evening.

But these tips can help you get it done without breaking a sweat.

Countertops

Do you have special countertops?

We have old laminate ones from the 1970s, but if yours are new and made from materials that need special care, be sure to read the factory directions. Use the right cleaner – you don’t want to leave marks in an expensive marble counter, after all.

Countertops need to be cleaned every single time they’re used, and even a three year old can wipe up crumbs or a bit of water. Make sure everyone knows to remove any small appliances, wipe the space behind them, and dry the surface to keep it looking great.

Cabinets

At least weekly, wipe down the cabinets on the outside and the inside before putting dishes inside from the dishwasher.

Replace shelf liner paper at least yearly.

If you use the right type for what’s inside, it’ll last longer. For example, cedar liner where you keep spices, felt for silver, rubber for slippery glass dishes, and cork where you put fragile glassware due to its softness and ability to resist mold.

Sink

Train your family to put all dirty dishes in the dishwasher and to run when full rather than store them in the sink. This will save lots of time. The other trick to making the sink look great is to wipe it out thoroughly after every use and dry it to bring out the shine and limit mold.

Refrigerator/Freezer

Years ago, I remember asking an older lady how often she cleaned her refrigerator. Every time there’s a mess, she said. It was good advice!

Wipe down anytime there is a spill, otherwise on a weekly basis (before you buy more groceries) wipe up spills, wipe off sticky bottles, and check the fruit and veggie trays for any spoiled produce. Wipe down the door and handle. Always dry after wiping down any surface inside and out to bring out the shine and prevent mold.

Mold is never good, but it’s really bad in your fridge!

Stove Top

The best course of action when it comes to the stove top is to clean it thoroughly after every use, including drying it with a soft dry towel.

Each type of stove requires a different type of cleaning fluid and material, so check with your manufacturer. If you wipe it down every time you use it no matter the type of stove you have, it will always remain clean and like new.

Oven

Every time something is spilled, wipe it up immediately. Monthly or as often your manufacturer suggests, clean the oven completely according to their directions and using the recommended cleaning solutions. Our self-cleaning oven says that the racks must be removed, so be sure to check yours.

A self-cleaning oven smells and you won’t want to be in the kitchen. Ensure that there is ventilation – an open window or your hood fan – and go to bed while it works!

Microwave

Teach everyone to cover food before reheating or cooking in the microwave. Then, wipe it out after each use with a damp sponge with a solution of equal parts vinegar and water. If you get it while it’s still wet, nothing will ever stick.

If you do have stuck-on food, put a microwave-safe bowl of water inside and microwave it for a couple minutes to allow steam to cover the microwave. Wipe down with a dry paper towel.

Light Fixtures

Monthly, the same time you change your air conditioner filter and put bleach in your air conditioner drain (only when recommended by the manufacturer), take the time to dust the outside of any light fixtures you have in your kitchen. A great way to do it is to wear dusting gloves. That way you can simply wipe them down with both hands.

This is very handy if you do it on a ladder.

Miscellaneous Appliances

Everyone has random appliances: pressure cookers, food processors, slow cookers, and so forth.

The best way to deal with these is to wipe them down with a wet cloth every time you use them using a vinegar and water solution, along with drying them completely with a dry soft towel or paper towel.

But, if they tend to collect dust because you only use them a few times a year, consider storing them inside of a plastic container to keep them dust free.

Furniture

If you have a hutch and other furniture in the kitchen or dining room, ensure that you include these in your weekly chores. Simply use the right cleaner according to the materials and wipe down fully each week. If you have a huge kitchen, you can break it up and just do one part each day.

Baseboards

On a weekly basis, when you give your floors a good scrubbing, also clean the baseboards. You can simply wipe with a wet cloth or sponge using the vinegar and water solution, then dry.

Floor

Your kitchen gets lots of action, so you probably need to sweep it daily each time you clean off the counters after cooking.

In my house, any child old enough to walk can hold a dustpan or operate a whisk broom, and a Seven or Eight can handle a full sized broom.

You may also need to mop up spills as they occur. But weekly, prepare to do a deep clean on the floor according to the manufacturer’s directions. Most times you can’t go wrong with a vinegar and water solution.

Bathrooms

It’s not hard to keep your bathrooms clean if you use non-toxic cleaners and delegate this to the little munchkins who are making the biggest mess. In fact, your bathroom can stay company ready most of the time if you follow this checklist and the tips included.

Walls and Doors

Due to the steam that happens in the bathroom, it’s important to wash the walls at least weekly. This will help cut down on mold and other grime.

All you need is a damp cloth and a 50/50 vinegar and water solution. If any marks have appeared, you can use a magic eraser. Pay close attention to the corners, door knobs, and handles.

Art and Décor

Many people have some décor in the bathroom. (Not me, but lots of people do!)

Due to the damp environment, first make sure you put the right type of art in that room, covered in glass. That way you can wipe it down easily. On a weekly basis, simply wipe down all the art with a damp cloth or dry cloth if needed.

Tub, Shower and Tile

Ever wonder how hotels keep the mold out of the tile grout? The answer is that they clean it and dry it often. The drying part is important!

You can help this process by training your family to dry the tiles down after their shower or bath. Then monthly it should be deep cleaned, using the right solution for your type of tile.

Towel Racks

When you’re wiping down the art and décor, you may as well also wipe down the towel racks and any other hangers, including the one holding your shampoo in the shower. If you do it weekly, you’re not going to have to work hard to get the scum off. A simple damp cloth followed by a dry cloth will work.

Toilet Bowl

While all teenage and adult family members should be taught to clean the toilet bowl after use when necessary, give it a deep scrub at least weekly.

Turn off the water, use the right type of cleaner for your type of bowl and scrub using your hands, rubber gloves, and a sponge – ensuring you get under the rim. Clean the outside of the toilet as well, remembering to use a dry cloth to dry up.

Sink, Faucets and Countertop

These will need to be cleaned daily due to the use of toothpaste and other products such as hairspray. Teach each person to clean up after themselves, including drying up the sink, faucets, and counters with a clean dry cloth.

Only use manufacturer-approved cleaning supplies so you don’t damage anything.

Shower Head

To clean your shower head, unscrew it and put it in a bowl to soak with a solution of baking soda, vinegar, and water or a store-bought cleaner designed for the material yours is made from. It’s usually okay to scrub with an old soft toothbrush too.

This should be done every six months, or if the water is not coming out due to hard water deposits.

Drains

Clean at least monthly. Depending on what type of septic system you have, you’ll need to use the right method. But, when appropriate you’ll want to rid drains of hair and other junk, either using a snake or by using Drano. You can also use a solution of baking soda and vinegar to help clean drains and make them run clearly.

Shower Doors

If you have glass shower doors, they can seem hard to keep clean. Hard water deposits can turn the doors yellow and cloudy. But, if you make it a habit to dry the doors down after every shower, you can avoid that problem altogether. Otherwise, use a product designed for cleaning glass doors and a squeegee monthly.

Shower Curtains

First, ensure that you have a shower curtain liner. When you have a good liner, it will protect the shower curtain. Replace the liner once a year, or try washing the liner in the washing machine with bleach monthly.

You can hang it while wet, then use a hand towel to dry it off. Teach your family to keep the curtain and liner fully stretched out after their shower to avoid water collecting in wrinkles, causing mold build-up.

Mirrors

Anytime something is splattered on the mirror, take a few seconds and a paper towel to wipe it off. You don’t need fancy cleaners for mirrors. Seriously; all you need is vinegar, together with paper towels or an old newspaper. Clean mirrors fully on a weekly basis.

Countertop Items

Soap dishes, toothpaste tubes, perfume, hairspray, and shaving cream are often things that are out and ready to use or inside the cabinet. If you keep them put away, they’ll get less dust and dirt on them. But for things left out, be sure to wipe them down with a clean damp cloth at least weekly to avoid build-up of grime.

Floors and Baseboards

On a weekly basis, sweep, scrub, mop and dry the floors and baseboards. Remember to use the right cleaners based on your type of floor so that you don’t ruin it. You’re almost always safe simply using a cloth soaked with a 50/50 vinegar and water solution, and a soft cloth to dry.

Rugs

Each week when you deep clean the floor, throw the rugs into the washing machine. All number of things get on bathroom rugs, so washing them more often is best.

Bedrooms

Keeping your bedroom clean is important to ensure that you get a good night’s sleep each night. Sleeping with dust and clutter isn’t conducive to being well rested. Thankfully, it’s not hard to do with these tips.

Bed Linens

Weekly change of bed linens will help ensure a good night’s sleep, because the sheets will feel nicer and everything will be fresh. All you need is two sets and then you can alternate weekly. Other than that, make it a habit to make your bed every single day within minutes of getting up.

Furniture

Dust furniture in the bedroom at least weekly, the same time you change the bed linens. Keeping dust low in the bedroom will help you sleep better, without having any issues with allergies.

Doors, Floors and Baseboards

Clean your doors and floors at least weekly. You can probably clean the baseboards monthly for the bedroom, since the floor doesn’t have as much foot traffic.

Rugs

Monthly, take any area rugs out of the bedroom and shake them out, or wash them if you can.

Art and Mirrors

Monthly, dust all art and mirrors in your bedroom to keep them dust free. If you notice dust building up faster, you might consider checking your air conditioner filter.

Fans

If you have a ceiling fan in your bedroom, this needs to be dusted fully at least monthly to cut down on cobwebs and other dust bunnies.

Windows

Monthly, wipe down all windows and window ledges.

Closets

Each season, go through your closet to reorganize and put away things that were for the last season. Often, you’ll find things you didn’t even use that you can donate and give away as well.

Laundry Room

Whether you have a laundry closet or a room, there are some regular maintenance issues to contend with. Follow these tips to keep everything ship shape.

Washer

Today’s low-energy washers need special care. While the manufacturer does say what to do, often people ignore it until their washer has a weird smell. You can clean it using the products the manufacturer suggests. GE recommends Tide washing machine cleaner for their washers. Otherwise, you can use a cup of bleach, or a cup of vinegar using the clean cycle on hot. It’s important to do this monthly and not wait for a bad smell. Wipe down after every use.

Dryer

Always clean your lint filter before any use. Monthly, use a special dryer lint trap cleaner tool to get lint that slips through the filter. You can also use your vacuum with the soft brush attachment to clean the screen better, as well as clean the lint trap deeper. Also monthly, using a soft cloth damp with a 50/50 vinegar and water solution, wipe down the drum inside. Allow to fully dry with the door open before next use. Wipe down the surface after every use.

Floor, Walls and Baseboards

Like the bathroom, things build up faster in the laundry room. You’ll want to clean the floors and baseboard on a weekly basis. It’s not hard; just use a sponge mop or a soft damp cloth to wipe down everything, drying when finished.

Shelves

Due to the lint flying around, take the time to wipe down the shelves and anything sitting on the shelves or on top of your machines on a weekly basis. Cutting down on lint and dust is essential for helping you keep this room cleaner.

Entryway

You know how the entryway that you love so much can become a claustrophobic experience when everyone’s stuff ends up there? It can’t be just me! Well, you can stop this with the right plan so that you can bring back your entryway.

Furniture

If you have furniture in your entryway, try to make it useful furniture so that you can hide stuff. For example, a bench that also has a place to put shoes will help cut down on clutter. Clean the furniture at least monthly, weekly in bad weather.

Shoes

If you find that you have lots of shoes getting in the way in the entryway, don’t fight it. Instead, get something to put the shoes in so that they’ll be organized. Ask your family to take some of their clean, dry shoes to their room if it gets too crazy.

Baskets

A great way to control clutter for a big family in the entryway is to use baskets. Each child has their own, and even the adults can too. That way all their stuff can be tossed in the basket to be distributed to the right room easily.

Floors and Rugs

Entryways get dirty fast because people come in with their dirty shoes and can even be muddy. Use the right type of rug or floor in the entryway for simple clean-up. This is not the place for a rug that can’t be tossed into the washer. You’ll likely need to clean the entryway each evening before bed, or assign it to someone in the family.

Garage

If you have a garage but can’t use it for your car, you’re in good company. Most people who have garages use them to store more stuff that they don’t use. Consider it a challenge to organize your garage.

Get Proper Storage Tools

The best way to keep any room clean and attractive, including the garage, is to invest in the right type of shelving and storage containers. When you see a need for storage solutions, don’t delay.

Donate and Toss

Keep a donate bin as well as a toss bin. Whenever you come across something you’ve not used for an entire year, determine if you can donate it or if you need to toss it. It’s much easier keeping things clean if you don’t have extra stuff you don’t use.

Label Everything

A great way to help yourself and your family put things where they go is to label things in the garage. That way, everything in the garage has a home and a place to be.

Assess Seasonally

Each season, go through what’s in your garage if it’s out of order, so that you can do better next season with keeping it organized.

Floors and Surfaces

About every six months, go in your garage and remove everything you can from it.

Scrub the floors and the walls, including the garage door.

Wipe down all the things you put back into the garage to cut down on dust, cobwebs, and critters that like such things.

Porch

If you have a porch or stoop, this is a place where dirt collects.

It comes from people’s shoes, but also the wind can blow things onto your porch where it can get trapped in corners.

All you need to do is take a broom and sweep, including the walls and any awning that you have covering the porch.

For good wood surfaces, clean them accordingly as well as repair any paint that needs to be fixed.

This checklist will help you keep your entire home tidy and attractive. Home is a haven for you and your family to get away from the noise and dirt of the outside world. With a little help and dedication, you can make it even better easily.

Turn old newspapers into a cute tabletop Christmas tree craft that can also be displayed in your car.

Not every one puts a big Christmas tree in their home – for many reasons.

But sometimes it’s fun to have a little one for tabletops or even for the dash of your car. Even if you do put up a big tree, you might enjoy upcycling old newspapers to make this fun little tabletop Christmas tree. The materials used aren’t expensive, especially since it’s mostly made from old newspaper, so maybe you want one for every window in your house?

At any rate, have fun with it. Like cooking, crafts like this can be done exactly as shown or they can be adjusted to suit your tastes. Maybe silver and gold glitter is more to your liking?

If you do any sort of craft projects, you probably have what you need on hand.

• newspaper
• white glue
• acrylic paints (blue, red and yellow)
• a piece of yellow pipe cleaner
• hot glue
• a pair of scissors
• red and green glitter
• ruler
• paint brushes

Let’s Start Making an Upcycled Tabletop Christmas Tree

Fold half of a sheet of newspaper crosswise until you have a thin folded sheet.

Cut the folded sheet into strips about an inch across.

Now you need to roll up the small pieces that make up the main part of your tabletop Christmas tree. Make sure that there are no gaps or spaces starting from the middle all the way to the outer part of the roll.

Hot glue the ends of the roll.  You will need to have 13 rolls to make this tree. You could certainly make it bigger, but you’ll have to calculate the number of rolls and the colour ratio yourself.

Paint the rolls by holding them by the flat ends. You will need

1 green,

3 red,

4 blue, and

5 yellow

Let the paint dry for an hour.  If there isn’t enough colour, add a second coat of paint.

Generously apply white glue on the tip or the side of the roll.

Dip the glued side of the roll to a bottle of glitter. You’ll need six green and seven red.

Let this set for an hour to dry.

Now take a half sheet of newspaper and twist it into a rope.

Wrap the twisted paper on the bottle of the glitter or any object available that is about the width of three little paper rolls.  This will make your Christmas tree base.

Secure each layer of the turn with hot glue, but don’t glue it TO your mold.  This will make the base stiff.  Do this until you reach the desired height of the base.

Keep on wrapping the twisted paper until you reach the desired height of the base.

Paint the Christmas tree’s base with brown paint.

Glue two yellow rolls together.  Make sure that the glitter color of the two is contrasting.  Glue the green roll on the space in between the two yellow rolls.  The green roll will be the tip of the Christmas tree.

After the two yellow layers, glue the next red layer.

Take note of the glitter.  The colours of the glitter should be aligned in a diagonal fashion.

Glue the widest base of the Christmas tree which is the blue.  You should have a perfect triangle by now with an aligned color of glitter.

Glue the next and last layer just below the blue one, the yellow rolls.  This will make the triangle look like a tree now. You probably have glitter and paint all over your fingers by now, too.

From top to bottom, you should have one green roll, two yellow, three red, four blue, three yellow.

Create a small star from the yellow pipe cleaner.  Glue the star on top of the Christmas tree, where the green roll is located.

Hot glue the base of the Christmas tree to the rolls.

You did it!

Create a wellness sanctuary with these simple steps to a home you’ll always want to go home to.

Saturday is my day for entertaining, for making big meals and opening up my home to others. Recently, when my aunt and uncle joined us, her response warmed my heart.

“Oh, I like your house! It feels like home.”

How can you create a home that feels like … well, like “home”?

A place that you want to come back to every evening after a long day at work …

Where you truly feel safe and comfortable, and can really relax and unwind …

Where friends and family can drop their worries at the door and join you for a peaceful visit …

A place and a space that makes you feel peaceful, calm, and well.

If you come into my house, the first thing you’ll hear from me is that you should make yourself at home. And I mean it.

Here are some simple and cost-effective ways that you can make sure everyone feels at home.

One of the biggest health enhancers, and one that it took me years to understand, is to clear out all the junk. Get rid of that stuff you no longer use, and de-clutter your living space.

This will immediately give you a sense of spaciousness and relief, and will help you feel more peaceful. You could sell some of that stuff online and make a bit of extra cash, thus increasing the wellness of your wallet, as well as your home!

Or you could donate your unneeded possessions, passing them along to bless someone else. That’s usually what I do. Over the years, I have received enough very welcome gently-used gifts that I am happy to pay it forward when I have something that is unnecessary for our family but too good to throw out.

Develop a system to organize your paperwork and necessary items.

When you can’t find anything, or you stare constantly at a pile of bills, mail and other paperwork, any sense of peace and harmony in the home is strained or lost.

Keep everything off the floor except furniture. One of the lessons we try to impart to our children is that nothing belongs on the floor except … the items that belong on the floor.

Furniture, bookcases, appliances, and the big wooden rocking chair my father made – yes!

Toys, books, papers, cups, bags, clothes, or towels – no!

Food, crumbs, dirt – definite no!

At least twice a day, we scan the house for items that have dropped on the floor and need to be picked up. (And with six people in the house, it’s amazing how often that happens. I could increase the number of times we do it!)

A messy floor makes the entire room look disorganized and out of order.

Have comfortable furniture. Have you ever been in a house where the furniture seems designed purely for looks? It’s gorgeous but you can’t imagine snuggling up on it to watch a good movie. You don’t want that to be your home! Choose furniture that lets you put up your feet and relax.

Have you ever heard the expression “Cleanliness is next to Godliness”?

Well, it’s not!

I mean, really, as Erma Bombeck said:

Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven. — Erma Bombeck

With that said, having a clean living space is much healthier than being surrounded by germs and harmful bacteria. When your home is clean, it smells good and feels fresh and healthy. All of this contributes to a feeling of wellness for everyone in it.

Speaking of smells – eliminate toxic chemicals in favour of natural essential oils. Your family and guests will appreciate the difference, even people who don’t realize that essential oils are better. My husband was an essential oil skeptic until I cleaned out the chemical scents!

Citrus adds a fresh, invigorating feeling. Lavender is calming. Frankincense and myrrh both promote a meditative air.

Use a simple oil burner or just put a few drops of water in a spritzer bottle full of water and spray it in the air.

Another way to increase your comfort level, and your capacity to relax, unwind and de-stress in your home, is to add “ambience”: soft music, soft lighting, candles, and beautiful art pieces can all add to a feeling of calm and tranquility. This isn’t to everyone’s taste, though, so do so carefully, and make sure that they never add to the clutter.

Color schemes affect our mood: for example, blues and greens are calming, whilst reds, corals, and maroons make a room seem cozy and warm. Keep this in mind when redecorating.

Set aside a room, or even an area, to devote to your spiritual health. No matter what the Divine Source means to you, it is important to have a sacred place for prayer, contemplation, and meditation. This could be an altar or war room, depending on your belief system.

Years ago, I had a friend whose father wouldn’t allow living plants in their house. He had a strange idea that they used oxygen and that it was unhealthy to be close to them. I’ve never know anyone else who believes that, and the truth is that living plants keep the air oxygenated. They also keep nature close to you, and scientists are beginning to see that we actually have an innate need for regular doses of nature. Having even a few living plants in your home helps a lot!

If your water isn’t tasty, use a water filter. It’s a very simple change, but good tasting water means that you’ll drink more.

Keeping some windows open whenever possible will help the circulation of fresh air and will keep your home from getting stuffy and from feeling oppressive and claustrophobic.

Growing herbs in the kitchen will again bring a little bit of nature in from the outside and will help you connect to the earth in an immediate and practical way. Not to mention bringing some wholesome nutrition to your kitchen table.

Natural light in your home, as much as possible, can help you feel better, but keep in mind that you cannot absorb vitamin D through glass. If you’re getting most of your sunlight through glass, be sure to take vitamin D supplements.

Remember to laugh, spend time with, and hug those you live with, to increase the good vibes in your home.

If you live alone, invite family and friends over to share a meal.

Put a few of these into practice and you’ll soon love your home – and so will everyone else!

First published on JustPlainMarie.ca on May 7, 2021.

Some days are just rotten. The kind of day that begins with bad news, spirals into dropped eggs and broken bottles, and ends with you wondering if anyone in the universe actually sees you. I’ve had those days – the kind where my returned brain tumor collided with my step-dad’s cancer diagnosis in the same phone call. (For the record, that day was worse for my mom. #nocontest.)

We joke about crawling into a bottle, demolishing a tub of ice cream, or blowing the grocery budget on “retail therapy.” Humor helps. But let’s be honest – those aren’t real solutions. They just add new problems to the old ones.

What you actually need on days like that is self-care. Not the glossy Instagram version with spa trips and boutique yoga memberships. I mean the kind that costs nothing and actually works when life goes sideways. Self-care won’t erase your problems, but it gives you the strength to keep standing when the floor feels like it’s disappearing under you.

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Free Self-Care That Actually Helps

Watch Something That Makes You Laugh

Skip the dramas and the heavy romances – save those for when you’re already steady. Bad days need comedies, sitcom marathons, goofy movies, and even ridiculous cat videos. Laughter resets your brain chemistry in ways that grim determination can’t.

Get Out of the House

Even if it’s just stepping onto the porch or walking around the block. The change of scenery matters. Fresh air matters. If you can handle more, text a friend who doesn’t care if you show up in pajama pants and unwashed hair. That’s the friend you need on days like this.

Take a Long, Hot Bath

If you’ve got a tub, use it. Epsom salts, a drop of lavender oil, or just hot water and locked doors. Music optional. Phone not invited. Think of it as a reset button for both body and mind.

Spend Time With People Who Lift You Up

The temptation is to hide – ignore calls, dodge messages, stay invisible. I know; I’ve done it. But isolation feeds the dark. Choose the people who don’t demand a mask from you, who let you be tired or messy or quiet. Ten minutes with the right person can do more for your mood than ten hours alone.

Try Ten Minutes of Meditation or Prayer

You don’t have to sit cross-legged on a mountain. Close the door, set a timer, and breathe. Focus on a single phrase or image that calms you. Even a short pause clears space between you and the chaos.

Move Your Body

You don’t need a gym membership or new sneakers. Walk around your block. Climb the stairs. Put on music and dance badly in the kitchen. Movement shifts the chemicals swirling in your body. Sometimes the best medicine is to literally shake it off.

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The Bottom Line

Self-care isn’t about luxury. It’s survival. It’s the difference between collapsing into despair and gathering enough energy to face whatever comes next. Your worst days will come again – they do for all of us – but when they do, you’ll know how to steady yourself without reaching for things that make the darkness worse.

Because at the end of the day, resilience isn’t about never breaking. It’s about bending, breathing, laughing, and walking forward – even if you’re still in your bathrobe.

First published on JustPlainMarie.ca Sep 16, 2018

We are made as social creatures who need other humans, but the only way it works is if we are all operating at our finest, contributing to our best ability, and taking responsibility for our own lives and needs.

Well, let’s look at what’s going on right now. Even if you live in the country, you and those around you likely have a job of some sort. Five (and maybe six) days a week, you head to that job and put in eight, ten or even twelve hours of work.

Getting to that job almost always involves a commute and then there is another one at the end of the work day to get home.

Most people in our society either own a home and pay a mortgage and property taxes, or they live in a rented house or apartment and pay rent.

The average person here in North America has a car, and perhaps two. Here in rural Nova Scotia, it is difficult for anyone to get to work without a vehicle so a house with multiple adults is likely to have a vehicle for each. Owning even one car requires payment of the cost of the car, insurance, repairs and gasoline.

There are one hundred and sixty eight hours in a week.

At least forty hours every week are spent at work. If your commute is half an hour each way, there goes another five hours. Rural workers may have an hour to drive each way, and city dwellers may be stuck in traffic for up to two hours morning and night. So there go between five and twenty more hours.

Everyone has to sleep. The average adult sleeps nearly eight hours every night. So an additional forty hours are consumed by resting in order to be prepared for the next day … so you can go to work.

Then there are the routine tasks that are required to maintain the house and car or cars. There are commitments that involve others.

Everyone eats, so that takes time.

All of these “average” lifestyle activities quickly add up, so much so that anyone who lives an “average” lifestyle has less than two hours every day that they can call their own. Every other hour is spoken for, taken up by activities that support the lifestyle.

When you think about it, the average lifestyle is one of complete dependency.

We have to work because we have to pay for things that we really don’t own.

We have to work because we have to buy food that we don’t have time to produce.

We have to do things that we necessarily do not want to do because we are made to feel that doing those things is normal. We do things that we don’t want to do because we want to conform.

When I think back to my grandparents, an amazing and relatively recent example of self-reliance, it becomes clear that they didn’t do this alone. In a community of about fifty self-reliant families, most of their needs could be met through people they knew and could trust. While each farm could manage with little outside help, they knew the value of trusted, reliable neighbours. As a friend of mine from the Old Order Mennonite community often says “Your neighbours can live without you, but you can’t live without your neighbours.”

It is important to make special mention of this.

A self reliant community or village – made up of responsible, self-reliant households that work together for the betterment of the community and care for those unable to care for themselves – is a powerful thing.

This is not what I mean by dependency, and going off into the woods to live as a lone wolf without other people is not self reliance. In fact, it’s a great way to lose your sanity, your health, and possibly your life.

We are made as social creatures who need other humans, but the only way it works is if we are all operating at our finest, contributing to our best ability, and taking responsibility for our own lives and needs.

Self-reliance rejects the “average” lifestyle.

Self reliance doesn’t conform simply for the sake of conforming.

Self reliance isn’t influenced by what someone else says, even if they’re telling you that you must do this or that thing in order to be self-reliant.

Self reliance is about living life on your own terms and taking responsibility for your own decisions, actions and choices.

It’s about living life as a producer – even of something small – and working together with other self reliant producers.

It’s about owning your … as my Mennonite friend would say … crap. Own your crap.

*cough* *cough* It actually means ‘garbage’ and comes from the word chaff. If Old Order Mennonites think it’s a fine word, it’s good enough for me.

Take responsibility for whatever mess is in your life and deal with it instead of waiting for someone else to pick up and take over. Someone can pick up and take over, but you will lose a little bit of ‘you’ every time that happens.

Self reliance is about independence and non-conformity.

Self reliance is about freedom.